Frustrated with everything

Well its starting to sink in today that this thing i paid a kings ransom for (well just shy of six grand XD) may never actually work. I mean, i had it fitted in august 2012 and am now nearly 6 months out. I’ve lost over a stone but only through shear willpower. The band, for me, has brought nothing to the table (pardon the pun).

I’ve been reassured by my nurse that things will start to work but i just don’t believe her and i am having to put every inch of faith in what she says to stop me going bat shit mental.

I can, if i don’t think about it, easily consume a single course and possibly a second at a restaurant like a normal person, when all this talk about a side-plate of food is more than plenty. I get hunger pains every 3-4hours like normal too.

I haven’t got another fill booked in until feb so I’m counting the days, i want this thing working and helping me. The snow has put paid to my cycling for a week and the cold has just increased my appetite. I’m fighting the urges but not sure who will win.

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